Vrindavan – Where India’s Widows Go to Die 
 

"Only those who go to such places unannounced and without any official clout can see and realise the pathetic conditions in which the destitute women known as Vrindavan widows live there and the way in which they are exploited."



Mathura is the city of God, City of Sri Krishna, City of temples but there is a part of Mathura called Vrindavan which is the city of widows. The ancient name of the city, “Brindaban,” had been named after its ancient groves of “Brinda,” Ocimum tenuiflorum, or Tulsi, with ban meaning a grove or a forest. Two small groves still exist, Nidhivan and  Seva Kunj. It lies in the Braj region. It is about 15km away from Mathura city, the birthplace of Lord Krishna.

Vrindavan is a place where custom seems frozen in time despite its proximity to such symbols of resurgent India. ‘This’ is home for widows with broken rooms and shattered hopes, where white-shrouded widows sleep in courtyard or sometimes on road, open on all sides. ‘This’ is where life is reduced to a hope for death because only death brings salvation. But the truth is Dignity denied even in death for Vrindavan widows.

“In many conservative Indian Hindu families, widows are shunned because they’re seen as bringing bad luck. Superstitious relatives even blame them for their husband’s death. The widow can become a liability with no social standing, an unwanted mouth to feed. Often they’re cast out of the family home. “According to the Dharmashastra, the sacred Hindu legal text, covering moral, ethical and social laws, widows are expected to devote the remainder of their lives to the memory of their husbands. 

For many women in this culture, the loss of a husband can be an upheaval beyond belief. It can be a one-way ticket to isolation, poverty and despair. In Vrindavan, India, widows of all ages are waiting for the moment they, too, will follow their husbands to the fields of death. The widows in Vrindavan today can be found on the streets, in ashrams and other centers in Vrindavan. Vrindavan has over 4,000 temples today and many ashrams. The approximate number of widows living in the holy city today numbers over 20,000.



Conditions in some of the ashrams of Vrindavan go from terrible, human trafficking of younger widows occurs. Their daily work is to go to bhajan ashram and sing for about 3-4 hours per day. These bhajan ashrams are run by rich religious people. They give Rs. 5 and a little bit of rice and a little bit of lentils (Daal-Chawal) to each widow chanting for three hours. Not just any widow can enter in any bhajan ashram and start chanting and then get some money. They have to get registered with the ashram first and then their timing is decided and only then they can work. A part from this this is sad to see that most of the widows living in Vrindavan are involved in begging for surviving.



And when these poor women dies, their death become more horrible than life. The bodies of widows who die in shelter homes in Vrindavan are taken away by sweepers at night, cut into pieces, put into jute bags and disposed of as the institutions do not have any provision for a decent funeral. The supreme court noted the fact order for a "decent" last rites of the widows who pass away, the court directed the chief medical officer to make the arrangements. But condition is still the same.

The widows of Vrindavan who lead tragic, neglected lives have become a cliché. In any modern country, they would be considered productive citizens, capable of contributing to society. But in India their conditions are worse than animals. It is not only the case of Vrindavan but whole India is still living in past. In India conditions are critical for widows, abandoned on the death of their husbands with no resources of their own, appear with no chance for education, no protection from possible rape and no chance for a better life. They face situations of hunger, starvation and negligence as they try to survive with only one small plate of food a day. 

This is a small request to all my fellow Indian "A widow wants society’s acceptance more than its charity" Please think about it!



By Sumitra on March 5th, 2012 Category: Pics, Travel 

Superstitious beliefs are generally perceived in light humor, like when a black cat crosses your path, or you look into a broken mirror. But what about the ones that could cause several women to live in poverty and destitution for the rest of their lives? Unfortunately, that’s the ugly side of superstition and it does exist in several rural, underdeveloped societies of India. Societies, where it is normal to believe that apart from being a financial burden, widowed women and even their shadows, bring bad luck. Within such circles, widows – both young and old – are shunned and forced to leave their home. Their bangles are broken, red vermilion (the mark of a married woman) is wiped away from the forehead, and they’re forced to wear nothing but white saris, before being turned away from home. Thousands of these homeless widows gather at one place, Vrindavan, where it is believed that death will bring them salvation. So they go there to live in ashrams, awaiting their turn to die. 
Unfortunately, life in the ashrams of the holy city of Vrindavan is not exactly a bed of roses for the lonely and abandoned women. In fact, some of them are so poor that they have even left the ashrams and taken to the streets to beg for their food. The north-Indian city, with a population of about 55,000, is believed to have about 20,000 widows today. The ones who do stay on in the ashrams receive only one small plate of food a day, and live in the poorest of conditions. Young widows face a threat to their safety as well, due to sexual abuse and human trafficking. 

Photo © V.V. Krishnan 


Filmmakers such as Dharan Mandrayar and Deepa Mehta have made movies on the plight of such women, but these have been viewed as highly controversial in the country. Mehta’s 2005 film, Water, depicted the story of the young and beautiful Kalyani, a widowed woman sold for sexual services. It was nominated for an Academy Award that year. However, not much has changed for real-life Kalyani’s who suffer the terrible living conditions each day. 

Photo © Rajeev Bhat 


A few courageous people do exist, who are working hard for a change. One of them is Dr. Mohini Giri, the creator of Guild of Service, an organization which helps destitute women and children. Widowed herself at the age of 50, she says that she has experienced the social humiliation that comes with being a widow. There were times when her presence was considered bad luck, so she was asked not to attend weddings. “We live in a patriarchal society. Men say that culturally as a widow you cannot do anything – you cannot grow your hair, you should not look beautiful. It’s the mind of the society that we need to change – not the women,” she says. Of course, she admits that her efforts have not been sufficient, and a lot more help is needed from the Government to bring about a positive change in the lives of thousands of widows. “Mine is but a drop in the bucket,” says Dr. Giri.